Tag Archives: Anger

Day 1454: Anger, Faith and The Unfairness of Life

“… FAITH: … Full Assurance In The Heart.” ― Nick Vujicic

It’s 1 : 57 PM on day 1454 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth,hang out with my sister, pray, read Psalm 142, publish my Disability of the Day feature, feed myself a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast and hang out with family.

This morning I woke up feeling uncomfortable in my body and angry sometimes I catch myself thinking I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I try to be nice to everybody and I’m the one suffering having Cerebral Palsy sometimes feels like a punishment even though I know deep down that it’s a platform for God to reach more people through me.

Day 248

2 Replies

Appreciation consists of words and action – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 40 PM on day 248 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck but @laurajteacheroz (Laura) promised to donate $50 if 50 people donated $10 each – thanks Laura 🙂 – feed myself a polony sandwich for breakfast, tweet about my campaign some more –still no luck :(– feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch TV, continue reading A Purloined Life – the first of two books in Stella Cameron‘s Charmed, feed myself Batura for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Today I was sitting at my laptop doing something when the memory of a comment left on my Facebook wall post which read you’re a star came flooding back to me and in that moment I felt so angry because the woman who left that comment after reading an article about me was the very same woman who wouldn’t return any of my messages when I sent her a donation request so naturally I wasn’t exactly feeling the love although I did thank her in the interest of being polite. Do you talk the talk but fail to walk the walk?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://www.twitter.com/nisha360

if you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Dat 240

6 Replies

It’s the okay to complain sometimes – that’s what I learned today.

It’s 8: 11 PM on day 240 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a polony and lettuce sandwich for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – after thirteen LONG days a kind heart by the name of Ellen (@LoveThatMax on Twitter) and Adrian Klein – someoone I don’t even know made donations – thanks to both of you for your contributions you don’t know this but I actually prayed
for a donation 🙂 – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch TV, feed myself grapes for dinner, continue reading A Purloined Life – the first of two books in Stella Cameron‘s Charmed and brush my teeth once more.

Today as I sat in front of the laptop trying to breathe through the pain in my hips I remember thinking I’m not going to complain, I’m going to complain, I’m going to complain but after a short while I gave in and thought I hate being in pain most of the time, I hate the fact that my father doesn’t take me anywhere, I hate the fact that my mom thinks I do nothing even though I get up every day and try to make a difference, I hate the fact that people see an invalid when they look at me…I hate cp and just like that my anger was gone. Do you hold things in until you feel like you’re about to blow?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://www.twitter.com/nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 215

1 Reply

You cannot be your mother’s confidant – that’s what I learned today 🙁

It’s 9: 36 PM on day 215 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a bread and jam sandwich for breakfast, , make sandwiches for the people in our housekeeper’s neighborhood (if you have no idea what I am talking about refer to ‘Day 184’) – it was a nightmare we had to make 6 loafs because 3 wasn’t enough I ended up crying out of frustration which was embarrassing to say the least hopefully it won’t be like this next week:) – tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck today – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch TV and watch She’s Out Of My League starring Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, T.J. Miller on DVD – it was about learning to believe that you deserve the best in life and although the storyline was really sweet the raunchiness of it all ruined the movie.

Sitting at the dining table making sandwiches my mom looked at me and said your dad left me in the rain and told me to go into the hospital with someone else – they were meant to go visit this kid who had been in a scooter accident together – he looked at me and said who would go anywhere with you my mother continued wiping her tears with the inside of her palm and in that moment I suppressed the urge to wring my father’s neck and attempted to soothe my mother but after an hour of hearing her whine I was reaching the end of my rope and blurted out either get a divorce or shut up not because I liked or even loved my father but because I didn’t have the strength to carry my pain as well as hers. Do you burden your children with your problems?

Day 202

2 Replies

You should do what you know is right regardless of what anybody else says – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 3: 10 PM on day 202 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a banana for breakfast, survive a five hour road trip back to my hometown of Lusikisiki (see picture of our journey below) and eat rice and curry for lunch – I let my mother feed me just this once because I didn’t want to make a mess in my aunt’s living room.

Today when I was in the car on our road trip a friend of mine send me a text via my sister’s cell phone and my father overheard me saying to my sister tell her I got the bread and he asked what’s this about bread so I reluctantly told him that my friend and I were approaching bakeries to see if they’d be willing to donate bread to enable me to make more sandwiches for my housekeeper’s community (if you have no idea what I’m talking about refer to ‘Day 184’) and all he could think to say was I will buy the bread otherwise people will think we are eating the donated bread and in that moment I came to a maddening realization that all my father cared about was his reputation. Are you guided by other people’s opinions or your own intuition?

My 16-year old sister - Neethu - and 10-year-old brother - Kevin - in the backseat of our car

The security area of Nelson Mandela's house in Qunu - his hometown