Tag Archives: Family

Day 394

Feeling guilty about things you cannot control can destroy you – that’s what I learned today 🙁

It’s 7: 11 PM on day 394 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself banana for breakfast, cry for a while–see why in the next paragraph – publish my Disability of the Day feature–I prepared it yesterday night – Facebook about my Clean Water For All Campaign – I scheduled some tweets for Twitter last night so I decided to focus on Facebook still no luck – rest for a while – I didn’t get enough sleep last night because I was up almost until midnight scheduling tweets for Twitter– feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch TV, feed myself yoghurt for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Today while my mother was trying to comb my sister’s hair she – my sister – said you didn’t take care of me when I was two so don’t try to take care of me now and as if to make me feel more guilty after she left for school my mother said she’s right I didn’t give her much care you were there and then Kevin was born which made me burst out into tears because I’ve always felt guilty about the fact that my sister got so little attention from my parents but now I realize that I didn’t ask to be born – yet I was – I didn’t ask to have Cerebral Palsy – yet I do – and I didn’t ask for my parents to give me more attention than they did my sister and brother – yet they did – that being said I don’t mean to trivialize the pain my siblings feel – you will NEVER hear me say I know they feel because I don’t – and I would like them to know that I’m really trying not to be an inconvenience to anyone in this house – I don’t eat or drink much, I limit my trips to the bathroom, I don’t ask to go anywhere or do anything and I only ask for help when it is absolutely necessary (honestly, do you guys think I would ask you to get the laptop for me if I could do it myself). Are you destroying yourself?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 354

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The show must go no matter what– that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 33 PM on day 354 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, make some sandwiches on behalf of Virginia’s Sandwich Run with the help of our housekeeper– I was sticky and messy by the end of it but it was for a good cause 🙂 – feed myself an avocado sandwich for brunch, prepare my Kid of the Week feature for Sunday, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself grilled chicken for dinner and watch TV.

As many of you know my family has been going through a rough patch of late – first my brother was hospitalized and then almost a week later my grandma (she has now been moved to a rehab center) – and because of that I put making sandwiches for our housekeeper’s neighborhood – if you have no idea what I’m talking about refer to Virginia’s Sandwich Run – on hold but this week I realized that me sitting here not helping people wasn’t helping anyone least of all my grandma who I haven’t see in four weeks – I asked my father to take me but as per usual he said no I still can’t understand how a father can be ashamed his child because she has a medical condition – so today I am going to make sandwiches in honour of both sets of my grandparents – both my grandmothers are still alive – Virginia, Joseph uncle – my father’s friend who died a couple of years ago – Brennan and Rachel. Do you stop your life when something unexpected happens?

Day 347

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People who feel bad about themselves will try and bring you down any which way they know – that’s what I learned today 🙁

It’s 8 :06 PM on day 347 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – struck out – listen to music, feed myself Batura and vegetable curry for breakfast, tweet about my campaign some more– no luck but on the plus side my friend, Bonnie Squires, has been doing a great job spreading the word – thanks Bonnie 🙂 – feed myself oranges for lunch, go to physiotherapy, continue to tweet about my campaign – still no luck – and feed myself oranges for dinner.

This morning as my father was wheeling me to the bathroom he said how many of those people donated money to your campaign after you posted a notice up on our community’s website – if you have no idea what I’m talking about refer to Day 301 – and I was honest and said one he took that as an opening to say I told you not to ask for money from those people which wouldn’t have been so bad if he actually played an active role in my life – I kid you not he helps my mother take me to the bathroom (when my sister and the housekeeper aren’t available), drives me to my physiotherapist’s appointment every two weeks and pays the bills (all of which I’m VERY grateful for) that’s about the extent of his involvement in my life – although now that a few hours have passed since what he said I realize that I am more flabbergasted than hurt – if I were in my father’s shoes I would say to my child who keep in mind has more challenges than most I am SO proud of you for putting others before yourself in spite of what you go through every day instead of constantly trying to tear her down. Have you ever met someone with such low esteem that they have to make you feel bad just to make themselves feel better?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 330

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Kids notice things that we overlook – that what I learned today 🙂

It’s 8: 29 PM on day 330 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself toast, scrambled eggs and sausages for brunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – Debbie (@MissShuganah) made a donation yesterday and my aunty and uncle made a second donation today only $1 912.10 more to raise to reach my goal I am SO happy 🙂 – watch TV, feed myself steamed vegetables for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Last night my siblings and I were watching the seven o’ clock news on which they featured a story about the good work that doctors were doing in Somalia and my brother (who just turned eleven yesterday) said something along the lines of how come they always mention the doctors what about his team what about the nurses the nurses who took care of me (he was in hospital a couple of days ago) weren’t that bad and because I know that what he said was (and still is) so true I would like to say to all the nurses out there I SO appreciate what you do particularly with today being Women’s Day in South Africa I know that most of you are overworked and underpaid but without the healthcare sector would be on its knees so please keep doing what you’re doing and know that your work has value. Have the words of a child made you more appreciative of the people around you?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 329

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Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security. – John Allen

It’s 8: 09 PM on day 329 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself bread and scrambled eggs for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my campaign some more–I worked most of the day and all I got is I’ll consider it it’s really disheartening if people knew (I’m not feeling sorry for myself) how heard it was for me to go from morning to night with a smile on my face I bet you they would be less flippant about it – start reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, watch TV and feed myself avocado sandwich for dinner.

In the early hours of Friday morning my grandma was rushed to the hospital – she was having seizures – and subsequently underwent a brain scan to discover that one of the blood vessels in her brain had burst as I write this – it is now 7: 25 AM – she is probably being prepped for surgery and although it pains me that I am not there right now – I didn’t go because I knew that my father would make a huge song and dance about taking me – he did the same thing when my brother was in the hospital although I did go on that occasion because he knew that I would trample over millions to be with my brother in his hour of need – and plus I didn’t want to get sick from all the germs in the hospital – I am not worried because I know that she’s going to be fine – she was bitten by snakes SEVEN times all seven times the snake met it’s end LOL so I highly doubt that a little brain surgery’s going to bring her down. Do you security because you can deal with uncertainty adequately?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 328

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The only courage you really need is the courage to stand by your actions– that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 8:41 PM on day 328 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself an avocado sandwich for breakfast, publish my Kid of the Week feature, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – read Little Wonders, A day in the life of Reagan and A New Kind of Perfect – all of the blogs although told different stories illustrated the triumph of the human spirit– feed myself spaghetti bolognese for lunch – it got a bit messy but I did it 🙂 – and continue reading Love Virtually by Daniel Glattauer.

Last night my father found out that I posted a notice about my campaign on our community’s website (if you have no idea what I’m talking about refer to Day 301) and just as I expected he TOTALLY freaked going on like I murdered somebody saying now people are going think I am using you to collect money email them and ask them to take it down to which after I initially considered following his orders said I stand by my actions if you want them to take it down you’ve got to call and ask them to do it yourself – he did but the guy wasn’t there after which he reconsidered – and that I guess is my message to all of you guys if you know that you’re doing the right thing don’t let anybody make you apologize. Do you courageously stand by your actions because you know that you’re doing the right thing or say I’m sorry for doing that at the first sign of disapproval?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 326

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Every experience that comes to you is an opportunity to birth your divinity. – Richard H. Levy

It’s 7: 49 PM on day 326 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, read Sorta Crunchy on Bringing the Sunshine– a fun blog post about how far is too far when it comes to going green – feed myself an avocado sandwich for breaKfast, listen to music, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself naarjies – [plural of naarjie] a n orange like fruit that is unique to South Africa– for lunch, watch TV, feed myself steamed vegetables for dinner, brush my teeth once more and watch some more TV.

Yesterday – I can’t believe I actually going to write this but if it helps someone it will be worth it – I asked my father to take the heater in our room – the room that my sister and I share – and put in my our brother’s room and he in turn asked my sister to do it and her being the smartass that she is brought the wrong heater and made some comment which rubbed my father up the wrong way and ended up in her getting a beating which left her hyperventilating with a red mark on her arm and although I wouldn’t wish that on anyone when she came back to our room in tears I realized that regardless of how you are abused the end result is that you feel like you are not worthy I knew that because every time my father said I should sit in the car while the rest of them went shopping or visiting I felt like he was engraving on my heart you are not good enough. Has a horrible experience taught you something that you would otherwise never know?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 324

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Success is relative – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 8: 34 PM on day 324 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a banana for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – uncle Gopan – a comunity member of ours who I recognize if I meet him in person – made a donation – peel and feed myself naarjies – [plural of naarjie] a n orange like fruit that is unique to South Africa– for lunch, watch TV, feed myself rice and curry for dinner and brushh my teeth once more.

Yesterday while my mom and I were talking I suggested to her that she keep my brother at home from school for one more day just to be cautious – he had just returned home from a four day hospital stint on Monday – and she just came at me saying let him go what will I do if all my children end up like you in that moment it occurred to me that I wasn’t nor would I ever be successful in my mother’s eyes and strangely enough I was fine with that because regardless of what I go through every day I make it a point to put a smile on my face and be of service to others and that in my book makes me a success. Do you consider someone to be unsuccessful because they don’t fit into the box that you’ve created?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 322

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My path has not been determined. I shall have more experiences and pass many more milestones. – Agnetha Faltskog

It’s 8: 58 PM on day 322 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to feed myself an oranges for breakfast, brush my teeth, hang out with my brother and cheer him on as he blew up a balloon – he came back home after a five day hospital stay and the physiotherapist suggested he blew up balloons to increase his lung capacity –feed myself rice and curry for lunch, watch TV, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself an avocado sandwich for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

As you may or may not know today is the official first anniversary of this blog – I say official because I actually started this blog on July 11, 2010 but back I was interviewing women around the world to see what they’re lives which suffice to say didn’t work out – and in honour of that I would like to thank everyone for reading and share with you some of the comments – including those I’ve received via Facebook and Twitter – people have made about this blog over the past 365 days. Take a look:

The things you said that took my
breath away: Best comments of the past year

Laura stanford_84@hotmail.com

202.124.72.208

Submitted on 2010/08/25 at 8:40 pm Nisha, I am touched that I got a mention. I appreciate it more than you would know. Your influence on my life is unmeasurable. You have lifted my spirits today.I want to thankyou for being you, for thinking of others and for helping all those less fortunate through your wonderful Clean Water 4 All CampaignLaura xx

Wayne Mansfield

waynemansfield.com

wayne.mansfield@272mail.com

58.170.183.99

Submitted on 2010/09/14 at 11:26 am Nisha I am so proud of you… and I wish you every success on the journey to reclaim yourself.When the cards are dealt you didn’t get all the usual picture cards… that would be too easy wouldn’t it. You got the “hey world… look at me!! I wont lie down and be walked on.”I would like to add some $$$’s to your water project – please resend me the link so I can do that tonight.

Your Aussie friend

Wayne

Drew

andrewjbynum21@hotmail.com

74.242.187.94

Submitted on 2010/12/04 at 1:28 pm Nisha – you totally inspire even a handicapped guy like myself; know that you are loved for what you do, as well as your attitude – <3 -db

Miss Sara

randomlyspeakingpoeticallythinking.com/

misssld2u@gmail.com

68.58.72.13

Submitted on 2011/01/11 at 3:46 am Just WOW… Congrats on taking something that must have been so hurtful & turning it into a positive. I never struggled w/ allowing ppl to define me, it was always my past… the family that I came from, the abuse, chaos, traumas, etc.,etc., etc., I became ashamed and I learned last year (in therapy) that shame
was keeping me sick… so I have been stepping out in who I am TODAY &
being thankful, too. *Big Hugs* to you!!!

joyislife

joyislife.com

leticia@joyislife.com

98.19.88.73

Submitted on 2011/02/24 at 6:54 pm You have a very good question. Many of us are considered “normal”, yet what is normal… Though we may not have an outward or physical disability, we are all disabled in some way, for me it is “financial disability”. Yet, the experiences I have(past and present), motivate and inspire me to share with others faith and hope… You are an inspiration to me and many will benefit from your incredible perseverance , you have chosen wisely. Keep up the good works. Warmth & Joy, Leticia

Dawn twitter.com/morsemusings

sagepublishing@mac.com

173.29.230.53

Submitted on 2011/03/14 at 1:17 pm Truly a wonderful post Nisha.When we are surrounded by those who are anything less than caring it may very well cause us to feel uncared for, unwanted, and maybe even unloved at times. We have all experienced this at a time in our lives. Having esteem in ourselves can carry us through, so true.Given the same experience, I may ask to be taken home and not left in a car and hope that my needs, wants and desires will be respected

Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker

patriciasingleton.blogspot.com

patricia-singleton@sbcglobal.net

64.149.19.220

Submitted on 2011/04/07 at 7:26 pm Nisha, you are a true inspiration. You show others what is possible. Often our attitude toward God and our own lives is the only thing that we can change. I have been to southern India 3 times and know how important clean water is. Thank you for the work that you do

A tweet sent to me by Tana Lopez (@woveneye3) on 2011/05/04 Reading this changed my whole day, my whole week, and perhaps even more. Wow, talk about inspirational!! nisha360.wordpress.com @Nisha360

Ellen – Love That Max

lovethatmax.com

lovethatmax@gmail.com

66.250.5.18

Submitted on 2011/05/11 at 5:55 pm SO glad to know you. You’ve already inspired me. I am so psyched you’re making good headway
with contributions to the water project.
Did I mention you rock?

An excerpt from a message that Galen Gregory sent me on 2011/05/12 via Facebook

Hi, Nisha, thanks for accepting my friend request. I am really enjoying your blog. When I first read your introduction, I have to say my heart soared. I’ve met so many young people who lead very self-centered lives and sometimes I get very pessimistic about the future because of that. So when I read your story, it really lifted my spirits to know that there are young people who want to help others and make a the world a better place.When you are stuck at home, perhaps you can think how you are making a difference in people’s lives in distant places…not only the people you will help with clean water, but the people who are inspired or given hope by your work. In that way, you’ve already made your mark in St.Louis, Missouri, USA. :>)

Yours truly,

Galen

Stan Faryna

stan.faryna@gmail.com

109.166.138.103

Submitted on 2011/05/28 at 7:27 pm Nisha Varghese,Your voice walks the earth. Your work touches the hearts of people in far away lands. You inspire others and in so doing, you heal broken people and a broken world. From a wheelchair.Those who pity you are in need of more healing than you. For they are blind.

Stan Faryna

28 May 2011

Bucharest, Romania

P.S. Print this comment and tape it to your bedroom door. So all who may come to look with pity upon you, have a chance to be healed themselves.

Shivya

theshootingstar.wordpress.com

shivyanath@gmail.com

59.94.128.27

Submitted on 2011/06/05 at 8:34 pm You’re my new hero, Nisha. Thanks for inspiring me and being the change you are.

An excerpt from a message that Bonnie Squi sent me on 2011/06/06 via Facebook

Hi Nisha

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but when i read your blogs they make me smile and laugh. Reason being is because of my rite arm being fracture twice and the bone thinning plus arthritis in it and it shakes all the time

.I have trouble opening things and our kids want to do it open what ever i’m trying to open. I look at them and say i’m not helpless. Just knowing i’m not the only one going threw things like this makes it so much easier to cope. Because others don’t understand what your going threw.

Have a wonderful day my friend

Bonnie

Shasta Kearns Mooreo utrageousfortune.net

skearns812@gmail.com 24.21.211.4

Submitted on 2011/06/23 at 7:39 pm Hey thanks forthe mention and thanks for allowing me to find your blog. I love it! Very nicely written. It gives me hope for how well-written my own son might be one day.Being a parent is immensely hard. You don’t ever get to “win” because what is a “successful” person? Defining success is very different now that I am faced with a son with a disability. Cut your mom some slack! Then remind her that love is the most important thing.Good luck with our campaign, too. I retweeted about it!

Betsy Cross
silentleaves.wordpress.com
ekcross10@yahoo.com
75.69.185.53

Submitted on 2011/07/31 at 7:15 pm

What fun! That you’re documenting your journey through the things most (if not all) of us take for granted.I can’t remember the person who posted this (Stan Frayna?), but the name of the blog cracks me up! “If God Is Watching I Plan on Being Entertaining”. That’s THE best! Good luck on your journey. I hope it has turned into a little bit of fun. Pain is the worst. Chronic pain worse than that! You made me smile. You have a fun spirit.

Betsy

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 321

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The only way to know if you’re on the right track is to check your inventory once in a while – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 54 PM on day 321 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to feed myself an oranges for breakfast, prepare and publish my Kid of the Week feature, brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself avocado and oranges for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

This morning I was in the bathroom doing what people usually do in the bathroom and suddenly it occurred to me that I wasn’t making progress with regards to becoming more independent so I decided to grade my own report card. Take a look:

Reflections of the past 321 days: Self-assessment

To push myself around on my wheelchair – needs more practise most of the time I’m too lazy so I ask my family to wheel me around

To get in and out of bed by myself – not yet attempted because my parents are always around and even if they weren’t I would be too afraid to try because I fall and break my bones

To go to the bathroom by myself– again not yet attempted because my parents are always around and even if they weren’t I would be too afraid to try because I fall and break my bones

To bathe myself – attempted/needs more practice – I tried two days ago when my mother was in the hospital with my brother but since I can’t bend my back because there’s a metal rod in it – I had Scoliosis – that proved to be difficult

To undress and redress myself – attempted/needs more practice – sometimes I can only get one hand out a sleeve other times it’s both and on a really good I can take my whole shirt off

To brush my teeth – partially achieved – I can brush my teeth just fine but I need someone to help me lean over the sick so that the toothpaste ends up in the sink and not all over my shirt

To sign my name on a document (I never write anything out I always use a computer/laptop) – achieved sort of/needs more practice – I signed for my debit card and it was accepted bt when I signed to renew my passport it was denied

To type with both hands – needs more practice – I have been typing with only my left hand so long that it’s hard to break

To eat and drink by myself – partially achieved/needs more practice – I can feed myself with a spoon and drink from a mug but feeding myself with a fork and knife and drinking from a glass (because it has no handle) is still difficult

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!