Tag Archives: Christianity

Day 176

The worst thing in the world is not rejection it’s lack of validation – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 9: 13 PM on day 176 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a chicken polony sandwich for a snack – it turns out that lent starts on Ash Wednesday for everybody and I just got the date wrong LOL 🙂 – tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my campaign some more – still no luck – feed myself butternut for dinner and watch TV.

Today as I was sitting in front of my laptop raising awareness about my campaign I couldn’t help but remember all the people in my life who didn’t even bother to reply to my donation requests and in that moment I realized that I would rather hear a no than get no response at all because I believe that even when you say nothing you’re saying something and what those people were saying to me was you’re not even worth 5 minutes of my time. Do you ignore people because rejecting them would be too uncomfortable? 🙂

Day 174

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A hero is somebody who is selfless, who is generous in spirit, who just tries to give back as much as possible and help people. A hero to me is someone who saves people and who really deeply cares. –
Debi Mazar

It’s 4: 15 PM on day 174 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself Batura – deep fried bread – for breakfast while watching the Cricket World Cup match: South Africa vs. England – we lost by 6 runs but it’s okay we’ll get’em next time 🙂 – tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my campaign some more – still no luck – Chapati – an unleavened flatbread – vegetable curry for dinner – I am taking part in lent – the period of 40 weekdays before Easter observed in some Christian churches as a period of prayer, penance, fasting, and self-denial. (Note: my community goes according to what is done in the Eastern churches so we will be fasting for 49 days and not 40) – for the second consecutive year 🙂 – tweet about my campaign some more – I guess third time was the charm because @Dyan_Can (Diane) donated $10 –it was a pleasure meeting you Diane thank you for your donation 🙂 –and send two emails: the first to Brian’s mom, Lisa to see how she was doing (if you have no idea what I am talking about refer to End bullying for Brian) – Lisa and I have never meet in person but I know that if something ever happened to me I would want someone to do for my mom what I’m doing for Lisa – and the second was to the WordPress support team – my email notifications were being sent to two different email accounts and I asked them if they could help me fix it.

Yesterday I was watching The Showbiz Report – an entertainment magazine show – and heard that Angelina Jolie had stopped filming on her directorial debut to visit Afghanistan and meet refugees and I remember being so awestruck by the fact that she was so willing to drop everything in her life to go and help others with that said I would like this opportunity to applaud Angelina for all her philanthropic efforts – people may forget all the awards you’ve won but they’ll never forget all the good you’ve done you’re officially my new hero. Is there an Angelina Jolie in you? 🙂

Day 169

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Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. — Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

It’s 9: 04 PM on day 169 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a banana for breakfast, watch TV while feeding myself a chicken polony sandwich for a snack, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, exercise for 5 minutes, tweet about my campaign some more – still no luck – send the priest that we had dinner with about a week ago a link to my campaign – hopefully he won’t tell my parents because my explicitly told me not to ask people in our community for donations but I don’t know what else to do it’s not like I can spend the whole day at the mall asking people for donations or organize a fundraiser all by myself – they would KILL ME –figuratively speaking – if they found out I sent the link to my campaign to a priest with the intention of getting a donation – feed myself rice and butternut for dinner and watch The Oprah Winfrey Show.

I have always had this theory that everything you go through has something to teach you and looking back now I can prove it: cerebral palsy has taught the power of perception – all my life I had wanted to be like everybody else but then I realized that maybe just maybe God made me different so that I could have the freedom to be extraordinary – my tumultuous relationship with my father has taught me to love myself from within – ever since I could remember I had been waiting for my father to look me in the eye and say I’m sorry for treating you differently just because you are different I love you just the way you are and then one day not so long ago I decided to stop waiting for my father to come to his senses and start accepting myself and I won’t lie knowing that you don’t need acceptance from anybody else and living it are two very different things there are some days when I ache to be seen by my father not as a disabled person who needs help all the time but rather as a human being who needs to know that her daddy loves her – and last but not least my philanthropic efforts have taught me perseverance –before I started my Clean Water For All Campaign I had tried to raise $1 000 for UNICEF I must have asked all the companies in South Africa all of whom sent me long but polite rejection letters saying thanks but no thanks and as I look back on it today I realize that the reason I didn’t reach my goal last time was because I gave up too easily something as you can see I have not done this time around. Have you learned more from an experience than you have from actually getting what you wanted? 🙂

Day 167

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Be willing to apologize. Proper apologies have three parts: 1) what I did was wrong. 2) I’m sorry that I hurt you. 3) How do I make it better? It’s the third part that people tend to forget…. Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself. – Randy Pausch (1960-2008)

It’s 8: 00 PM on day 167 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself strawberry yoghurt for breakfast, go to church – the reverend asked the question what is sin and went to say – I’m paraphrasing – sin is not only doing evil but failing to do good and at that I almost laughed because I had thought it before he had said it LOL 🙂 – go visit my uncles and aunties’ – it was quite boring because all their kids had already left home we wanted to say in the car but my father raked us over the coals for being so rude so went inside just to appease him – next time I think we’ll just stay at home that way we won’t be accused of being rude LOL 🙂 – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – somebody – I won’t mention her name because she chose to remain anonymous – made a donation of $20 – I had asked her for to make one a couple of months and she said she would do it ASAP – thanks for being true to your word 🙂 – feed myself Chapati – an unleavened flatbread – chicken curry and salad for dinner and watch TV.

Today I was watching My Name Is Earl – an American television comedy about Earl J. Hickey (played by Jason Lee) – a petty criminal whose winning $100,000 lottery ticket is lost when he is hit by a car. Lying in a hospital bed, under the influence of morphine, he develops a belief in the concept of karmic retribution when he hears about karma during an episode of Last Call with Carson Daly. To turn his life around, he makes a list of every bad thing he’s ever done in an attempt to correct them, as he believes that this is the only way he can gain positive karma. After doing his first good deed, he finds the $100,000 lottery ticket he had previously lost. He sees this as a sign of karma rewarding him and, with his newfound wealth, he begins doing good deeds according to his list – and thought I wonder what would happen if everybody created their own lists and went about making all the things that they did wrong right and with that I decided to make my own list (see below). Do you apologize with words or actions? 🙂

My list

Make up for swearing at my brother by letting him watch TV whenever he wants – I told him about my list and asked him what I could do to make up for my filthy language and he said let me watch TV whenever I want – I have a feeling that the other items on my list won’t be so easy to cross off LOL 🙂

Give my mother some time to herself for all my bratty behavior in the past

Try my best not to absorb all of my mother energy so my sister can be the centre of attention for once in her life – my mother loves all her children equally but with me being in a wheelchair she accidentally ignores the others and although my sister would never say it I know she resents me and I can’t say I blame her…. everything in this family revolves around my disability… where we go out to eat, where we go on vacation, where we sit in the movie theatre, etc.

Day 162

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You should never be ashamed of any aspect of your life – that’s what I learned today.

It’s 10: 43 PM on day 162 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no luck today – feed myself bread and jam for brunch, listen to music, feed myself rice and curry for dinner, watch the Cricket World Cup match: England vs. Netherland – I couldn’t believe that the Dutch had done so well they lost but still they fought till the very end 🙂 – start reading Holly by Jude Deveraux – for the THIRD time LOL – I am NOT obsessed I am just a sucker for romance 🙂 – and exercise for 5 minutes.

Today at about 3:30 PM I heard the roar of an engine and when I looked out through the dining room window I saw that my parents had come home from work and my first instinct was to close the website I was on because I knew that if my father saw me reading Romans 12: 9-21 I would be in for a world of ridicule but then I realized that in doing that I would be denying my faith so I just kept doing what I was doing before my father had arrived and true to form he came in, saw what I was reading and said with a tone of mockery in his voice so you’re reading the Bible… have you also been saved – referring to my uncles who had recently converted to Evangelism – and I replied with a strength I didn’t know I had saying I will not apologize for reading the Bible just because you don’t. Would you forsake everything that you held near and dear just to be accepted? 🙂

Day 146

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There comes a time in everybody’s life where you have to decide that people are going to treat you with dignity and respect or not at all – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 9: 38 PM on day 146 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to continue reading The Last True Cowboy by Kathleen Eagle, brush my teeth, feed bun and baked beans for breakfast, played host to our family members who came for the prayer in memory of my grandfather – it is annually event that takes place usually of the anniversary of my grandfather’s death but this year we postponed it for two days because everybody’s had prior commitments on the actual day – we are Jacobites [pronounced yacobites] – one of three denominations of Christianity in Kerala – our place of origin – and as such we believe that it is necessary for us to pray for the souls of the deceased in order for them to be accepted through the gates of Heaven – tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – somebody – you know you are – promised to make a donation – I am SO happy 🙂 – feed myself rice and curry for dinner and exercise for 10 minutes.

Today I was lying on the bed minding my own business when my mother waltzes in and announces that we – all five of us – might be going to India in June or December and in that moment I suddenly had a flashback to a few months ago when I BEGGED my father with tears eyes to take me to my cousin’s wedding in India and when I finally snapped out of it I realized that my father was my father so long as he didn’t have to be seen with me and I knew I deserved more than that so I decided to sever my relationship with him before it eroded my whole heart. Do you put up with disrespect from those you love because you want them to be a part of your life? 🙂

Day 139

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Holy books of every religion are designed to lead humanity in humanity in the right direction – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 9: 00 PM on day 139 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, go to church – it was the weirdest thing I felt like the sermon was meant just for me our reverend was saying stuff like sometimes you’ve got to do what makes you uncomfortable because you know it’s the right thing to do and even with that directly prompt from God I couldn’t do it and for the first time in my life I knew what it felt like to disappoint God – it was the WORST feeling ever 🙁 – go visit my cousin who was leaving for university – I thought I would cry because I suddenly had flashbacks of the little boy who nobody thought would grow past the 1 meter mark LOL 🙂 – feed myself Nina’s Pizza – for lunch – I had never seen anything quite like it, it was a square- shaped pizza with four different kinds of toppings in each row – best pizza I’ve tasted in a long time 🙂 – go visit my other cousin – she told us a few days ago that she’s moving – everybody’s leaving must be something in the water 🙁 – and feed myself Chapati – an unleavened flatbread – and chicken curry for for dinner and tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – still no luck I must do something different before time runs out and I need another extention but the question is what.

Today as I sat in church trying to drown-out the words of our reverend which by the fifth minute of the sermon had already started needling at my very soul I heard him say today’s reading is taken from Romans 12: 9 – 21 (see below) and despite the fact that I was really annoyed with my reverend I decided to listen because I felt that God deserved my full attention and looking back now I am so glad I did because I realize that the words uttered by God in those twelve verses applied to people of all religions, not just Christians. Are you guided by the words of your holy book or the pursuit of wealth? 🙂

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Day 125

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Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

It’s 8: 11 PM on day 125 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, go to church – today’s service dealt with the renewal of our covenant with God – it’s basically like when a couple renews their wedding vows except in this case the renewal of vows wasn’t between man and wife but between you and God – I liked it so much that I plan to do it every day :)– go visit my cousins – the two hours we spent there felt like two decades LOL 🙂 – finish writing yesterday’s blog post – I had already written the middle part yesterday all I had left to do was write the beginning and the end – feed myself Chapati – an unleavened flatbread – and chicken curry for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no donation were made today 🙁 –feed myself sweet potatoes for dinner and exercise for 10 minutes.

As you know from my previous blog post we went visiting yesterday and I overhead the aunty of the house ask my mother so what does Nisha do nowadays and my mother replied she used to go to school but now she does nothing and in that moment I decided that I would rather be a nobody who does something than a somebody who does nothing. Would you conform to the ‘rules’ of society just for the sake of being identified with the majority? 🙂