Tag Archives: Regrets

Day 2349: Me and My Regrets

“Your regrets aren’t what you did, but what you didn’t do. So I take every opportunity.” – Cameron Diaz

 
It’s 11 :  19 AM on day 2349 of my journey towards independence and I managed to pray,  read Psalm 22: 9   and learn a new word – Epicene [ep·i·cene] adj. Having characteristics of both sexes or no characteristics of either sex; of indeterminate sex. “Clothing fashions are becoming increasingly epicene.”

 

Recently I’ve been thinking about the few regrets I have in my life and strangely enough they have nothing to do with what I did and everything to do with what I didn’t do I regret not visiting my paternal grandmother one last time before she passed (my dad had invited me to go with him that evening but it was really cold that evening so I chose to stay home thinking my gran would be around a while but she died a few days later) I will forever regret not taking the last chance I had to see her here on Earth, I regret not being fully present when sisi Virginia was trying to converse with me the last time I would ever see her, I regret not going into a family friend’s house I told him I’ll come again some other time only the next time I went to his house he wasn’t there he had died unexpectedly a few days after I saw him….mistakes are the name you give to experiences you learned from but what on Earth do you call the things you didn’t do.

Day 355

Be careful what you wish for
cause you just might get it all
you just might get it all and then some you don’t want.
– Chris Daughtry

It’s 7: 12 PM on day 355 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself toast, chicken nuggets and scrambled eggs for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – listen to music, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, go with my father to drop my mother, brother and sister at different places, cry for a while– my mom asked my dad to carry something for her into the building that she was going into, he said no, she said if any other woman had asked you would do it and before I knew it he was lunging at her (Note to mom and dad: mommy if you have problems go see a psychiatrist I can’t be your confidant and dad I will no longer go above and beyond to protect your reputation if you choose to behave in this manner you have to be willing to deal with the consequences) – go with my father to fetch my mother, brother and sister from different places, tweet about my campaign some more–still no luck I tweeted facts about water to achieve objective #2 of my campaign to highlight the plight of those who don’t have easy access to water– feed myself an avocado sandwich for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Last summer I wanted so badly to go to India for my cousin’s wedding and now that it’s been decided that we are going this summer I don’t know what to feel because I know that it’s going to be hard for me when I get there not just in terms of accessibility but also in terms of my father and just people in general – my father rarely takes me anywhere here in South Africa where people are exposed to and educated about disabilities I wonder how he’s going to act when we get to his home state of Kerala where people have little or no exposure to people who are different. Have you ever wished for something and got it only to wish that you had never wished for it in the first place?

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If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!