Being ignored is worse than being hated– that’s what I learned today:)
It’s 3 : 45 PM on day 609 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself All Bran Flakes for breakfast, drink Green Tea by myself, publish my Disability of the Day feature, exercise my right hand – still need more practice picking up a knife with my right hand – and feed myself an avocado sandwich for lunch.
Today I awoke to read a comment in response to Day 568 Nisha, I am both physically and mentally disabled but I do NOT want to be lumped into the “I am disabled” category that you are trying to create. Trying to make everyone see themselves as “disabled” in some way or another is a pathetic attempt at you trying to make the world conform to you, rather than making the effort to blend seamlessly with it. Instead of trying to drag everyone else down to your level, you need to step up your game and strive to live a full life as possible. Part of the beauty of today’s world is that everyone can be different and still be accepted, but do not use your disability to guilt people into lowering their own standards to make you feel better. I read quite few of your entries and the predominant posts are “I fed myself. I watched tv.” Step up your game girl! Instead of watching tv, attempt to learn to knit or crochet. It is wonderful therapy for hand dexterity. Take up flower gardening. Take up walking the neighbors dog for a bit of spending cash. Do SOMETHING besides watching tv and trying to make everyone see themselves as disabled so that you feel better. What Wayne is telling you above is that your posts are depressing. Nobody in their right mind wants to promote depressing, monotonous drivel like “I fed myself and watched tv because I’m disabled and you are too” suffice to say I was slightly shell-shocked but replied Hi, I think you misunderstand the intention of this blog post I am trying to get rid of some of the stigma around being “disabled”. I am sorry that you feel what I write is monotonous drivel I write about all the little things I do because a couple of years ago I couldn’t do them every day I try to learn how to do something new by myself. I want people to read my blog and know that it’s not too late for them to change and become the people they want to be :)Yours truly, Nisha PS. I beg you to read about who I am http://nishav360.com/2010/08/who-i-am/ before you judge me although I suppose it’s too late for that now. the way I look at it this person could’ve read the post and forgotten about it but they didn’t they took the time to tell me how pathetic my efforts were as a writer there is no greater compliment I could receive. Would you prefer to be hated or ignored?
Hateful comments can cut through you like a knife, that’s for sure. This person seems to want to give you “tough love” though, so try to take it as a misguided attempt to boost your confidence, not tear it down.
I don’t think #iamdisabled drags other people down. It normalizes disability and makes it OK to relate to someone with a disability because we all have things we can’t do. In that way, the whole boat rises. I’m friends with a mom of a little girl who is very severely disabled and to even make herself food like you do is probably never going to happen. But even within the disability community, she feels ostracized because mothers of less disabled kids don’t want to relate to her concerns because they don’t want to feel like their kid is in the same category as hers. I think taking away the “otherness” of disability instead of pretending we are all “abled” is a faster route to global acceptance.
I don’t really know how significant your physical challenges are, Nisha, and I agree that we could all stand to set our bar a little higher, but I truly believe you are doing a great job. Setting small goals and achieving them is absolutely the road to independence and you were smart to realize that.
Hi,
I have nothing against that person as I said in the post. I’m glad you think #IAmDisabled normalizes disability and makes it ok to relate to someone with a disability because that’s my goal. I’m sorry to hear about the girl whose mother you’re friends with I wish I could befriend her I know how lonely one can feel when you feel like nobody understands what you’re going through. I can’t walk or use my right hand properly otherwise I’m just like everybody else 🙂
Yours truly,
Nisha