Tag Archives: Conversations with Myself

Day 2532: Conversations With Myself on Tough Days

The conversations you have with yourself on tough days either make you or break you – that’s what i’ve realized.

It’s 12 : 48 PM on day 2532 of my journey towards independence and I managed to pray, read , have breakfast, read Revelation 3:21 and promote my 50 New Feet Campaign benefiting MiracleFeet – raised to $3 125 only $9 375 more to raise by June 17, 2018 to help 50 kids with clubfoot .

This morning I bumped my barefoot and it must be because I have poor circulation but it was actually more painful than it should have been I found myself in tears (I hardly ever cry no matter how much pain or discomfort I’m in I usually suck it up and plaster a smile on my face mostly for my family’s benefit because let’s face it everybody’s dealing with their own stuff) after my longer-than-usual burst of tears I found myself thinking I’m grateful for all the parts of my body that don’t hurt, this too shall pass, it’s going to be okay God and the things I say to myself in times of greatest suffering have been my saving grace.

Day 109

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Count your blessings instead of your crosses;
Count your gains instead of your losses.
Count your joys instead of your woes;
Count your friends instead of your foes.
Count your smiles instead of your tears;
Count your courage instead of your fears.
Count your full years instead of your lean;
Count your kind deeds instead of your mean.
Count your health instead of your wealth;
Count on God instead of yourself.

– Author Unknown

It’s 10: 42 PM on day 109 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to feed myself Chapati – an unleavened flatbread – and Kadala Curry – made of brown chickpeas – for breakfast, brush my teeth – my mom constantly complains that I don’t do anything and when I try to brush my teeth over the sink – I usually brush my teeth perched on the toilet spitting the toothpaste and water into a small bucket – she says I’m making a mess – I just can’t win with her 🙁 – tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – I was hoping that people would donate to my cause in the spirit of starting the year off on a good note – no such luck 🙁 – feed myself carrots for lunch, exercise for 15 minutes – the 15 minutes went by in the blink of an in large part due to the fact that I was watching my favourite show The Ghost Whisperer – imagine what life would be like if we could talk to those who were no longer with us – and play host to the 20+ people who were at our New Year’s Eve barbeque – it was so much fun we played board games and ate – A LOT LOL 🙂

In the spirit of New Year’s Eve I spent a few hours after breakfast reflecting on the year that was 2010 and as I saw my life with different eyes I finally realized that the only thing standing between me and my goals for 2011 (see below) is the intense hate that I feel towards my father for the way I grew up and so as we approach a new year I give my father a gift that we both can share – the gift of forgiveness. Have you let go of all the hate that you’ve felt in 2010? 🙂

My goals for 2011

To raise $4 500 for The Water Project Inc through my Clean Water for All Campaign

To be physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually independent of my parents

To write a book and have it published

Happy New Year everyone! 🙂

Day 84

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If what you’re doing isn’t working then do something different – Dr. Phil C. McGraw

It’s 10: 43 PM on day84 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself a bag of chips for breakfast, learn about Exact Equations – I am so happy I’m almost done with Calculus 🙂 – watch the movies Legendary and Prince and Me 4 – I whole-heartedly recommend Legendry it’s all about showing up for life – feed myself banana for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – still no new donations – I just want to SCREAM 🙁 – drink tea by myself, feed myself Pizza for supper –attempted to change into a clean t-shirt – I got my head out but didn’t have much luck with doing the same with my arms but hey tomorrow is another day 🙂 – and exercise for 10 minutes – a big shoutout to my sixteen-year-old sister – Neethu – for helping me out with my exercises today – I know that I get most of mommy’s attention because of my disability but please know that you are NOT invisible – I SEE you 🙂

A good leader must be able to adapt to the current situation – change what’s not working and continue with what is – I learned that yesterday when I was reading Conversations with Myself – a book by Nelson Mandela – and with that said I have decided to change tactic slightly with regards to how I get donations for my campaign – I am looking for a sponsor who will donate $10 each time someone tweets for example, Wal-Mart Water Challenge to Wal-Mart. If you’re interested in sponsoring my water challenge then leave a comment with your contact information or email me at nishavarghese_1991@hotmail.com and I will get back to you ASAP 🙂

Day 83

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“Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible.” ~ Scott Williams

It’s 8: 49PM on day83 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself Sweet Potatoes with an Onion and Chilli dip for breakfast, continued reading Conversations with Myself by Nelson Mandela – on page 62 I could literally feel how torn he was between his family and his country – it was heart-breaking 🙁 – feed myself curry and rice for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign for a few hours – no new donations as yet but someone did promise to make a donation tomorrow – I am SO happy!!!! 🙂 – feed myself Semi-homemade Pizza for supper – we bought pre-made bases and added toppings – drink a cup of tea by myself – I so happy this time I didn’t even spill a drop on myself 🙂 – and exercise for 15 minutes – my mom and I were arguing about whether it was right or wrong that my uncle and aunty didn’t tell my granny that they were going to India for my cousin’s wedding just because they didn’t want to take her – I was ADAMANT that they were wrong – I can’t get over how badly people treat their parents these days 🙁

Growing up I always had this feeling that I was meant to be great and whenever times got tough – as they often did in our house with my parents beating up on each other – both figuratively and literally – I would close my eyes, count backwards from 10 – 10, 9, 8 7, 6, God has a bigger dream for you then you have for yourself – and today I woke up and realized that I am every bit as great as I once thought I would be and the best part is that I don’t believe that I’ve even stretched the surface of how great I could be my point is faith is not something you only have when your life is all moonshine and roses… faith is believing even when you have every possible reason not to. Is your faith conditional on your circumstance? 🙂

Day 82

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“Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.” – Charles Scribner, Jr.

It’s 7: 43PM on day82 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself Whole-Grain Bread and Baked for breakfast, continued reading Conversations with Myself by Nelson Mandela –I knew of my country’s history through history books of course but never have I felt the history as I did when I was reading the book – can’t wait to read more tomorrow 🙂 – tweeted with my right-hand to improve my mother skills – it was so frustrating I typed a word, made a mistake, pressed backspace, typed a word, made a mistake, pressed backspace, typed a word, made a mistake, pressed backspace, typed a word, made a mistake, pressed backspace and so on it went for the next 15 minutes until my right-arm started to hurt – exercise for 30 minutes – I was watching my favourite TV show – Chuck – so I didn’t feel a thing 🙂 – and feed myself rice and curry for supper

Before I started reading Conversations with Myself I like many of you had put Nelson Mandela on a pedestal – I was – still am – awestruck by his mere presence on Earth – but reading the first few chapters of the book I realize that Nelson Mandela is just an ordinary man who did something EXTRAORDINARY which suffice to say puts a lot of pressure on me because I too am ordinary. Have you ever wondered what kind of world we would be living in if everybody possessed the same sense of duty that Nelson Mandela has? 🙂

Day 81

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The road to hell is paved with good intentions – Proverb.

It’s 7: 28 PM on day81 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself Upma – a south Indian dish made of rava – and beef curry for breakfast, fix my Facebook button – if you want to get to know the real me add me on Facebook – I am an open book open for all the world to read 🙂 – spend THREE hours tweeting about my Clean Water For All Campaign – I am so frustrated it’s like all of us are waiting for someone to come and fix all the problems of the world only we don’t realize that each one of us is that somebody – feed myself Custard for lunch – not the most nutritious of lunches but it was yummy nonetheless 🙂 – continued reading Conversations with Myself by Nelson Mandela –just in the first 10-15 pages I began to realize how much respect Mandela had for the leaders who came before him and that is something that I believe is sorely lacking in today’s politics and the world at large – feed myself rice and curry for supper and exercise for 15 minutes – today’s session was just right – nor too painful and not too pleasurable kinda like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears LOL 🙂

Today as we were having supper I saw my brother – who is my 10kg’s overweight – reaching for a fizzy drink inside the fridge and I said don’t drink that have you see your stomach – I know, I know I am a horrible person – what I really meant to say was I love you want you to be healthy and in retrospect I probably should have suggested an alternative to the fizzy drink – I feel like the scum-of-the-Earth right now 🙁 Have you ever said something that came out all wrong?

Day 80

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A noble man compares and estimates himself by an idea which is higher than himself; and a mean man, by one lower than himself. The one produces aspiration; the other ambition, which is the way in which a vulgar man aspires – Marcus Aurelius.

It’s 7: 21 PM on day80 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself All-Bran Flakes for breakfast, learn how to calculate Exact Equations – I wish life was more like Math where every problem had a clearly defined solution(s) but I guess that’s too much to ask – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, exercise for 30 minutes – getting anyone to help me was a mission and a half – my mother was tired, my father was nowhere to be found, my sister was texting and my brother was eating – so I ended up having to exercise by myself – you know what they say want something done you have to do it yourself 🙂 – and started reading Conversations with Myself by Nelson Mandela – President Obama wrote the most moving forward I’ve ever read – I got the sense that President Obama has a great deal of respect for Nelson Mandela – as do I 🙂

Different people have different aspirations some people aspire to wealth and fame while others aspire to peace and happiness and if you’d asked me yesterday what I aspired to I wouldn’t have been able to tell you but in reading the forward written by President Obama I have come to realize that I aspire to Nelson Mandela’s exemplary leadership qualities. What do you aspire to? 🙂