Life is infinitely more complicated when one is differently-abled – that’s what I keep realizing.
It’s 1 : 38 PM on day 1456 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, pray, read Psalm 144, publish my Disability of the Day feature and read Actually true firefighter fables.
Two days ago our housekeeper told us she couldn’t come to work today because she had to go to the clinic which meant my parents had to scramble to find a stand-in housekeeper so they could go to work today and they couldn’t just leave me with anyone the person they hired had to be physical strong enough to lift me everything when it comes to me requires planning if we’re going on vacation we need to call ahead to find out if the place is wheelchair accessible, if we’re hiring new people we need to know if they are physically strong enough to help me… for once in my life I would like not to have to worry about wheelchair accessibility or our housekeeper’s weight I just want to be an ordinary twenty-three-year-old with ordinary problems.
There is that wonderful and very likely possibility that you have extraordinary challenges because you have been given extraordinary gifts.
[big hug]
This song is for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCdEuMk7C9E
thanks i believe that too most of the time t
Nisha, my friend Stan posted about you on the Book of Face, and I thought I’d come see what’s up with you and your blog. Though I’m not an active part of the blogosphere, I appreciate people that can relay their experiences and offer something unique to the world. And I’ll need to thank Stan for sending me here and I’m sending good wishes your way.
Though your struggles are mighty, your spirit is stronger. From what I’ve read, you are a remarkable individual who seems to accomplish more than many other “ordinary” people I know. Just remember, us “ordinary” people have our struggles as well, and reading what you post can help everyone with a bit of perspective and encouragement. It’s your gift to the world and people that follow your work are better for reading it. It might give people the push to move forward when they are down about what life is giving us this moment. You offer us all a great and positive message.
One more thing about us ordinary people, none of us are truly independent. We all need to have people in our lives to help out in some way. We all have our struggles and without other, good people to help us out we’d be doomed. While it’s admirable you’re struggling to gain a feeling of independence, just never forget that while it’s empowering to feel as if you are free of being a responsibility for others, you’ll never be free of those that care enough about you to want to help you in every way they can. I guess the trick is to keep perspective and know you can be independent on your own terms.
I’m sending you good thoughts and I hope you achieve your goals. If there is a justice on this earth, your happiness would be guaranteed.
I’ll be stopping back by to check in on you from time to time.
I totally agree with Stan. You are a wonderful person, and I truly believe you can surpass challenges in front of which most of us would cower.
Thank you for your kind words I truly hope that reading my blog will give people perspective.
Thank you for your kind words Stan is with great challenges come great gifts
I have been thinking of your post since I read it earlier this morning. I have a son with cerebral palsy, he is 15. It impacts his left side only, from a stroke, we believe he had in utero. Most people, unless they are physical therapists/occupational therapists, would probably not notice anything ‘different’ about him until they saw him perform a two handed task. His hand was more impacted than his leg.
There are days of mourning, where I wish things were different, easier for him, or for myself. I think that is normal. I recently saw a post on Facebook, which I try to go by… “Don’t forget you are human. It’s okay to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack, and live there. Cry it out, and then focus on where you are headed.” Honor your feelings today, I think that is so important.
I know that, like you, our family has a different perspective on life. I have seen the effect cerebral palsy has had on the entire family. The empathy it has given his siblings. His strength and perseverance have been an example to all of us. But, there is no getting past it, that some days just stink. I wish for ordinary. Someone once told me that, everyone’s pain is a ten, and while I would like to believe (for whatever self-serving reason) that my life is tougher than another’s life is, I really can’t. They are limited by their own experiences as much as I am.
The Serenity Prayer helps me as well.
God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.
I’m sorry you are having a rough day. You are allowed. I am also grateful of your writings, since I believe it will let others no they are not alone, and it will open minds. You are a blessing. Have your moment, and keep on ‘where you are headed’! You will get there, it might not look exactly like you wanted, but there will be progress–and really that’s all that matters–the journey not the destination.
I am so appreciative for your authenticity…so few words can ever truly capture depth of life and living…bravo, Nisha. (Yes…a friend of Stan).
I’m so glad I’m not the only one wishing for the ordinary people always say it’s okay to be different and I believe that too but sometimes I don’t want to be different I just want to be like everybody else.
Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Nisha, consider this: there are people that are differently-abled because they choose to be so. They cripple themselves with self-doubt, excuses, and fear. You have your challenges but you keep pushing forward. You’re allowed to fall into ruts and stumble. We all do.
You inspire us, Nisha, because you don’t make excuses and that’s what the world has grown accustomed to. You dream big and you push forward. You remind us to do the same.
I always say to myself, “As bad as things are right now, they can be far worse.. Let me count my blessings and be content.”
Keep on pushing on. You are beautiful, Nisha. =o)
I would also like to add: what is normal? Is it accepting the status quo? Is it being plain, ignorant, complacent, or unremarkable? Don’t ask for normal. You’d be downgrading yourself.
So true Yomar some people are crippled by their attitudes. Thank you for your kind words.
There is no such thing as normal and I quite like being different but sometimes I don’t want the challenges that come with being different.
Nisha, my heart is grateful for you, and for friends like Stan. In ways that matter, you are extraordinary. Reading your latest post, my thoughts turned to gardens of all things. The Hopi have a wise saying: “Know your garden.” Although I am not of the Hopi tribe, I have enough Cherokee blood running through me to know my walk — and your walk — is one of balance and beauty.
We need only to look at the gardens in our midst — graceful gardens such as your own — to appreciate the simplicity of the Hopi message. Beauty and balance are everywhere, if we know how and where to look. It is through both we come to see meaning in our life, a meaning manifest in love.
Sometimes, we need a little help from our friends if we are to truly see what it is our hearts are prepared to show us. Friends, like you and Stan, come into our life at just the right moment, and your unique beauty is breathtaking. I believe, as Kahlil Gibran teaches, that’s because “love is the only flower that grows and blossoms without the aid of seasons.” Those who make us happy, as Marcel Proust would tell us, “are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
Seems to me we owe friends like you and Stan our deepest gratitude because you often see in us what we, ourselves, may be unable to see: WE are that garden of love!
Thank you, Nisha, for a being you, for reminding us “love,” as John Lennon taught, “is the flower you’ve got to let grow,” and for being that charming gardener who makes our souls blossom!
You’re welcome, Jack, and thank you for being a friend 🙂