Day 3048: I Want Life and I Want to be Alive

I want life and I want to be alive despite it all– that’s what I’ve realized.

It’s 12: 49 PM on day 3048 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

This morning as our housekeeper, Amanda, was transferring me from my bed to my wheelchair so that I could go pee and change my clothes I thought to myself will my life always be this hard and I knew the answer was yes yet I still wanted life and wanted to be alive remembering how after my surgery last year I was grateful to be alive even when I was most in pain.

Day 3047: Just Love

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To love is the best use of one’s time– that’s what I’ve realized.

It’s 1: 28 PM on day 3047 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Today I was reminded that to love is the best use of one’s time whether you love a few people or many just love with every cell of your body and make sure your love is felt and known

Day 3046: Riding Out My Storms

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Sometimes all you can do is ride out the storm – that’s what I’ve realized.

It’s 11: 55 AM on day 3046 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, and do some work

This morning I was lying in bed when all of a sudden I felt extremely painful spasms at the bottom of my left foot – sometimes they happen in both feet other times just in one – they happen so infrequently and at unexpected times that I’ve never seen the point in seeking medical help for it (taking medication on an ongoing bases for something that may or may not happen on a given day, no thanks) when they happen I just lie there and silently wait for the storm to pass and nobody in the house is none the wiser (maybe someday I’ll tell them the extent of the physical pain but right now I don’t see the point in spilling my guts it would only make them feel powerless they didn’t cause my Cerebral Palsy nor can they take away the physical pain that comes with it (there’s very little I can do to help my family so I’ll spare them the horror story of the pain and discomfort I endure daily)).

Day 3045: The Carpenter Who Taught Me To Stand Up For Myself

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God made me like this so that I could show people that it’s okay to be different – that’s what the carpenter reminded me

It’s 1: 10 PM on day 3045 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Last week Carpenter comes “May I pray for you?” I let him touch my head and pray for me (figuring what harm could it do? – always better to be kind) . Fast forward to this week same man:

Carpenter: I’ll pray for you Usha
Mom: it’s Nisha not Usha
Me: I’ll pray for you too.
God made me like this so that I could show people that it’s okay to be different.
Carpenter: Not for long God doesn’t want you to be like this – he wants you to walk and run. Just believe
Me on repeat: God made me like this so that I could show people that it’s okay to be different #DifferentIsCOOL – I’M BLESSED NOT BROKEN the whole world needs to know that. I am as God intended me to be. God loves me.

This is not the first time someone has said such things to me nor will it be the last but this incident my soul has absorbed and my spirit has been dampened by because I realize that there are many people like the carpenter who share the view that all who are different need to be “cured” in order that they may be okay.

Day 3044: To err is human and to forgive (oneself and others) is divine

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To err is human and to forgive (oneself and others) is divine – that’s my message to the world

It’s 5: 00 PM on day 3044 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Today I was reminded that everybody makes mistakes all we can do is learn from it, forgive ourselves and move on.

Day 3043: Are You The Kind of Friend You Would Want to Have?

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Be the kind of friend you want to have – that’s my message to the world

It’s 1: 50 PM on day 3043 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse and do some work

The first part of 2019 I’m spending in service of all my friends dreams I feel really good about myself because my success is somehow incomplete if I don’t help my friends achieve theirs – I’m really proud that I’m the kind of friend I would want to have.

Day 3042: Today I Saw Mandela’s Vision of a Non-Racial South Africa Come to Life

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“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela

It’s 6: 35 PM on day 3042 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, do some work and spend time with family

Today as I sat in the middle of a clothing store watching people of all races going about their business I felt so proud of how South Africa had come knowing that just 3 decades ago South Africa was divided by race. South Africa has many a challenge still to face but none greater than those we’ve already overcome – Mandela’s vision of non-racial South Africa is a lot closer to reality than it once was.

Day 3041: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

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“I get to love you.

It’s the best thing that I’ll ever do.

I get to love you.

It’s a promise I’m making to you:

Whatever may come your heart I will choose

Forever I’m yours, Forever i do.”

– Ruelle, “I Get To Love You”

It’s 12: 15 PM on day 3041 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Recently I heard “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle I LOVE the song I’ve listened to it on-repeat the lyrics are so beautiful even though I think the song was written about romantic love whenever I listen to it I think of my mother. Listen to “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle below

Day 3040: Different Measures of Success

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Some days simply trying is equivalent to succeeding – that’s what I’ve realized

It’s 2: 11 PM on day 3040 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Today I was reminded that while most of the time success is measured in results there can be times when it can be measured in effort and intention

Day 3039: First Be Kind

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Even as we rush to get things done it’s important to first be kind– that’s what I’ve realized

It’s 2: 08 PM on day 3039 since I started blogging and I managed to pray, read a Bible verse, spend time outside and do some work

Today I was reminded that even as we rush to get things done it’s important to first be kind – there really is no substitute for good manners in this life