Freedom is what we do with what has happened to us – that’s what I’ve realized
Today is Freedom Day in South Africa – a day marking 26 years since the dawn of South Africa’s democracy – and while it is ironic that we are spending Freedom Day under lockdown due to COVID19 I’m grateful that when this is over we will have a democracy to go back to.
“The “nervous system environment” a girl absorbs during her first two years becomes a view of reality that will affect her for the rest of her life.”― Dr. Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain
Recently I finished reading The Female Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine I found it absolutely fascinating how a woman’s brain chemistry changes to accommodate for each new phase of her life. I recommend this book to every woman particularly if you have a daughter of your own.
Accepting
is inviting someone somewhere while inclusion is sitting next to them when you
notice that the seat next to them is empty – that’s what I’ve realized
Today I was somewhere and I couldn’t help thinking this is a perfect microcosm of my life – life is happening all around me and I’m here but not really included as I thought that a young gentleman came to sit with me holding his one and half-year-old daughter and we sat together playing with daughter until my mom returned I was so moved by his gesture of kindness he did the same thing last year when we were at an event and he noticed I was alone…out of 400 people there today I felt most included by that kind gentleman, his wife (who also came to sit with me with their daughter 20 minutes earlier when she noticed I was alone) and their child…I could cry just thinking about it 400 hundred people there and three people reminded me I was worthy of being sat next to. Thank you Rejidas and your little Dua for sitting next to me when most people just walked past me like I was invisible I will NEVER EVER FORGET your kindnesses – NEVER
Don’t dwell
on those who can’t or won’t help you focus on those who do – my new rule
Today,
twenty-four days into 2020, I have resolved to no longer dwell on those who can’t or won’t help me and
to instead focus on those who do – I have ideas and projects all I can do is
present them well if people help me implement them I will be delighted and so
grateful and if not I will move on and find more people to present to I won’t
spend hours dissecting why the people I thought could help me chose not to because
it’s really not productive.
Different is cool but different is also hard – that’s what I’ve realized
People make me so sad . Today my sister and i were waiting outside the mall for our brother to come pick us up after movies The woman sitting on the bench with us: My son is also wheelchair-bound – it’s so nice of your sister to take you out. My sister clearly understanding how the woman’s words made me feel didn’t accept the woman’s praise: it’s ok I could win the Nobel Prize and the person seen out with me would be nominated for sainthood for simply being out with me it makes me so sad that the public assumes everybody who’s with me is with me out of obligation and not choice. Regardless of what I achieve in life most people will always see me as an object of charity and pity #RealitiesOfDisability
“There are some things that you can fulfil with money, but
at the end of the day these are not the things that make you happy. It is the
small things that make life good.” – Sebastian Vettel
The last weekend of 2019 was the absolute best firstly my cousin got married and secondly in between all the wedding festivities I even managed to sneak in a breakfast with my Superhero Catherine Constantinides and almost all the Constantinides’s it was 4 days after Christmas but I felt like it was Christmas all over again – there’s something about that family they are love, loyalty and kindness and whenever I’m with them I feel like I fit effortlessly.
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Seneca
Today is New Year’s Day and with that comes new hopes, new opportunities and new goals. Check out my life’s purpose and 2020 Goals below:
My Life’s Purposes
Fill the world with kindness and love
Make a difference – level the playing field for people who were born with the cards stacked against them
Change perceptions about differently-abled people
2020 Goals
Continue to be kind, honest, generous, grateful, loyal and filled with wonderment
Every day be the best SuperSidekick to Superhero Catherine Constantinides (she’s the best, most hardworking real-life Superhero I’ve ever met she totally deserves me forever and no matter what else I’m doing in life I will always be here for her)
Do more for Breath of Life perhaps raise R29 000 in honour of my 29th year of life (Breath of Life is a place of safety for vulnerable babies here in my city I JUST LOVE THEIR WORK)
Take one classroom of kids who’ve never been to the movies to the movies
Eat healthily
Practice Patience
Publish my children’s book Different is Cool
Make a steady income
Teach kids and adults worldwide that Different Is COOL
Continue to raise awareness about the Western Sahara conflict – the Western Sahara has been illegally occupied by Morocco since 1975 due to the fact that it’s rich in natural and though the UN promised a referendum in 1991 it has yet to come to pass meanwhile half of the Saharawi People have been living in the refugee camps in Algeria since 1975
Choose people who choose me
Read 12+ books
Plant 52 trees in honour of how old Gerda would have turned this year
Do 29+ good deeds – for my 29th year of life
Visit London, Paris and Rome
(Note: Goals are subject to change with time and that’s ok because I will change with time)
“Make
measurable progress in reasonable time.” – Jim Rohn
As we near the end of 2019 it is again time to review the goals I set at the beginning of the year
My 2019 Life Purposes and Goals in Review
My Life’s Purposes
Fill the world with kindness and love [did my best]
Make a difference – level the playing field for people who were born with the cards stacked against them [did my best]
Change perceptions about differently-abled people [did my best]
2019
Goals
Continue to be kind, honest, generous, grateful and filled with wonderment [did my best]
Raise $28 000 for Charity:Water in honour of my 28th year of life (when we give water we give ,health, education and lost time back – I want to give one thing that changes EVERYTHING) [raised $4 141]
Every day be the best SuperSidekick to Superhero Catherine Constantinides (she’s the best, most hardworking real-life Superhero I’ve ever met she totally deserves me forever and no matter what else I’m doing in life I will always be here for her) [did my best with love she’s extraordinary i’m honoured to support all her hopes and dreams]
Publish my Moments Journal(s) [FAIL – did not try]
Make an income – doing good is wonderful and I’m proud that I’m known for that but also I need a steady income I don’t feel good about myself being financially dependent on my family at almost 28 years old [i made a wage which is a start but in 2020 i’m hoping for a steady stream of money]
Teach kids and adults worldwide that Different Is COOL [did my best]
Continue to raise awareness about the Western Sahara conflict – the Western Sahara has been illegally occupied by Morocco for the past 42 years due to the fact that it’s rich in natural and though the UN promised a referendum in 1991 it has yet to come to pass meanwhile half of the Saharawi People have been living in the refugee camps in Algeria for 43 years [did my best]
Choose people who choose me [ I did choose people who chose me realizing the phone works both ways]
Read 12+ books [read 9 books – most were romance novels but still]
Plant one tree or more [we bought a tree and our gardener helped us plant it in November]
Do 28+ good deeds – for my 28th year of life [I did a few but didn’t keep count so i’ll never know if i achieved this goal]
Say no,thank you when people ask if they can pray for me (in the context of me one day being healed) [did my best – there was interesting incident with our carpenter]
Visit London, Paris and Rome [did not happen this year]
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” -” ― Michael Altshuler
As we prepare to enter a new decade I’ve been reflecting on what I’ve learned from the current decade
7 Lessons of the Decade
1. Tomorrow is promised to nobody 2.We are defined by WHAT WE GIVE not what we have 3.Little Things are the BIG THINGS 4.People matter most and the right ones will love you as you are 5. Kindness is the compass that will guide you to happiness 6.People will say things about you, you can believe them or YOU 7.Fear is just a feeling
You
realize that there’s something to be said to limiting oneself, not just
geographically, but also emotionally. That there’s a certain depth of
experience and meaning that can only be achieved when one picks a single piece
of creation and says, “This is it. This is where I belong.” – Mark Manson
Years ago I thought living fully meant travelling the world, making new friends and tasting new foods but yesterday as I sat chatting and giggling with babies at Breath of Life I had a feeling there, with them, I was living fully (if I get to travel and do other stuff that would be awesome but I won’t do it in search of the fullness of life because every time I’m with the babies and wonderful people at Breath of Life I’m reminded that I’m already living fully). Thank you to Michelle, Andrew and the Breath of Life team for all you do and for a 2019 full of beautiful moments I look forward to making more beautiful memories with all of you next year.