Being an Indian woman in South Africa is like being a rope in a tug-of-war between the eastern and western world – there’s my parents who are trying so hard to hold on to their Indian culture and raise me as an Indian woman and then there’s my friends, society and the media basically telling me that everything my culture stands for is old-fashioned. Who do I believe?

My parents trying to raise me ‘the Indian way’ wouldn’t be such a bad thing except I think they’ve completely forgotten that we live in SOUTH AFRICA and not in India – if we lived in India they way they are raising us wouldn’t even be a topic of discussion because we wouldn’t know any different but, living in South Africa where we are exposed to people of all races and religions it’s natural that we feel cheated when we are not allowed to do most of things that our friends do. Indian parents don’t impose many rules on their children but, they are two rules that are absolutely NON-NEGOTIABLE:

• NO dating
• NO premarital sex under ANY circumstances – if you did choose to have premarital sex not only would you be an outcast in the community but, you will also have been the cause of the ruination of your family’s good name

I am beginning to realize that I belong somewhere between the eastern and western worlds and as for the question: Who do I believe? Well I’m choosing to believe nobody and have decided to go out and find what is true for me.

Happiness is something everybody in life strives for but, does anybody know what it really means to be happy. I will be the first to admit that I know little to nothing about life maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m only 19 whatever the case maybe I am smart enough to know that there’s a lot I don’t know but, I’ve never understood why people often had a checklist of things they had to accomplish before they allowed themselves to be happy. These are some of the things on the things-to-do-before-I-can-be- happy checklist: get a job, get married, buy a house and have kids.

I don’t care who you are, where you live or how much money you have I know you want to be happy. The question is: how do you get from knowing you want to be happy to actually being happy. I think people often has this notion that if they have the latest gadgets, the biggest house, a fancy car and designer clothes that then they will be happy only I wonder what happens to the man who has everything that he has ever wanted – the job, the house, the wife and three kids – but still goes to bed feeling like there’s some big secret that the world isn’t letting him in on.

The secret isn’t really a secret – not to me anyway – it is just a realization that filling you life up with things won’t get you anything except a house full of things you don’t need and a mountain of debt you don’t want and with this knowledge I derived a formula for happiness which consists of essential  two components – gratitude and giving – if you have one without  the other you won’t have balance in your life –  being grateful allows you to give and giving allows you to receive more graciously because you know how you feel when you give and so you will want the person giving you the gift to be filled with the same kind of joy and that’s why I say:

Happiness = gratitude + giving

Let me begin by saying that this post has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with how to get what you want out of life. Growing up I was taught how to recite the Lord’s Prayer and so I did but, today I realize that there is an art to prayer – it is more than just reciting words that you’ve memorized.

For the longest time I thought all I needed to do for my prayers to be answered was to pray about it repeatedly and now I realize that if what I asked for was what was best for me then all I had to do was ask once and just KNOWN that it was going to happen. Have you ever driven to the mall and just KNOWN that you were going to get that parking spot I believe the art of prayer works in much the same way.

I am Christian and I strongly that God exists and I am aware that your higher power might have a different name to mine – all religions teach us to be kind and loving toward our fellow human being so as far I am concerned whether you choose to call yourself a Hindu, Muslim or Christian all I see when I  look at you is a fellow human being  – but, the art of prayer has two steps and will work for regardless of who/what you believe in:

1. Step 1: Ask – ask God for what you want.
2. Step 2: Believe – just KNOW that you are going to get what you asked for.

On 9 August 1956, 20 000 women staged a march on the Union Buildings in Pretoria to protest against the proposed amendments to the Urban Areas Act (commonly known as the pass laws) of 1950. Five decades on women have made great strides in South Africa’s society but, the kind of women that marched to the Union Building in1956 are fast becoming extinct. The young women of today don’t have the same values of the women of August 9th 1956.

I feel like my generation has a sense of entitlement created in them by the very same people who are supposed to teach them the ways of the world – their parents – parents’ today parent out of guilt and not out of wisdom. We live in a world where you are what you have and as result parents are working long hours to get their kids ‘the best in life’ and to do that parents spend an obscene amount of hours at the office and to ease their guilt about not spending enough with their kids they give their kids  everything that their  little hearts desire and so it goes – the vicious cycle of consumerism. I often hear my friends say “my mom is my best-friend” and that to me is another big mistake that parents are making because being someone’s friend means that you are their peer and being someone’s peer means that you have  no authority over them and being a parent without authority is like going to war without weapons – it just doesn’t work  – and that’s why even though my mom and I have a very open and honest relationship I would never in a million years say  “my mom is my best-friend” – she is my mother and I am her child – I feel a strange sense of freedom because my role in the relationship between my mother and I is so clearly defined.

I think  if we want this generation – my generation – of woman to posses the same morals and values as the women of the 1950’s then we need parents to lead and we need kids to learn how to follow as things stand right now the youth are like shepherdless sheep.

People say that your dreams have a better chance of coming true if you write them down so I took the liberty of writing down all my dreams in the hopes that whoever said that was telling the truth.

• To raise $4 500 for The Water Project Inc through my Clean Water for All Campaign

• To be physically, financially, emotionally and spiritually independent of my parents

•  To write a book and have it published

• To live on my own

•  To buy a house

•  To travel to Greece, Italy, France, Switzerland Australia, Denmark and the United States of America

•  To meet Nelson Mandela

•  To meet Barack Obama

• To meet Oprah Winfrey

• To be healthy and happy for the rest of my life

• To be able to give every day for the rest of my life – as I am doing right now.

Having written drown all my dreams I would just like to say I am VERY VERY VERY grateful for everything I have and where I am at this point in my life because I know that there are some people right now who would give their front seat in heaven to be where I am and have all the people and things that I have in my life.