Grief is lonely– that’s what I have realized
As I sit in my grief more intense than anything I’ve ever experienced I’m thinking somebody I love please call me I feel so alone…somebody, anybody. My silent cellphone is telling me something about the people in my life that I really don’t want to hear.
The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? Edgar Allan Poe
Today I was at my physiotherapist’s funeral it was the one event I never imagined I would have to attend so soon watching people wave at the hearse as it drove away with her inside it broke my heart.
“Crying is cleansing. There’s a reason for tears, happiness or sadness.” – Dionne Warwick
Two days ago I just decided not to cry in the evening now I just wait for everybody to go to work then I go outside and cry by myself for a few minutes (I’m pretty sure our housekeeper hears me but she knows not to tell my family so that’s fine – I don’t like crying in front of people, not even ones through which I can to be plus they worry too much (my mom has been sleeping in my bed for the past 4 days hope she thinks I’m fine and moves out soon)
Pain is proof that you’ve loved – that’s what I have realized
Yesterday morning and the night before I was vomiting my guts out Gerda’s probably smiling down on me saying I knew you loved me deep, deep down my story was shaped by her presence and will be further shaped by her absence…this hurts so much so so much.
“Die with memories not dreams.” – Unknown
Today I returned from our weekend away with new friends and wonderful memories I’m truly thankful for the time spent with family and friends.
The best things in life are real not virtual – that’s what I have realized
My family and I are going away for the weekend for a special occasion. See you Monday
Even if you fail at goals if you do it while living your values you’ll never have to hang your head in shame– that’s what I have realized
Today I feel like I’m failing at one of the few goals I set for myself this year but at least I’m doing it staying true to my values
Speak even when you feel like nobody’s listening– that’s my message to the world
Today I feel unheard but I’m going to continue saying things that matter anyway
Magic can be found in every moment – that’s what I realized
This afternoon sitting outside I realized magic is not found in places but rather in moments that you’re truly present.
Love never dies – that’s what I keep reminding myself
On this day 5 years ago my grandmother took her final breath and left me broken of heart i understood then and i understand now that it was her time but it still hurts – i miss her physical presence(even when her memories were gone she came when i called. Her heart remembered me), Rest in Peace Ammachi I carry with me the love we share I’m still a lot broken-hearted that you’re not here with me but I wouldn’t be your grandchild if I didn’t put a smile on my face and carry on