Tag Archives: Parenting

Day 1856: Parents, Acts of Kindness and Leading by Example

I am who I am because of my parents – that’s what I realized last night.

 

It’s  12 :  00  PM on day 1856 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, pray,  read Acts 1, publish my Disability of the Day feature, learn one new thing –The male and female [flamingo] of a mating pair build a nest together, and both sit on the egg while it incubates for about a month.-  have breakfast and learn more about trading.

 

Last night I realized that I am who I am because of my parents earlier in the day a woman showed up literally on your doorstep saying she was struggling to feed her family and while most people would have turned her away my parents (God bless them) did what they could to help her I am still touched by their small yet big act of kindness. Thanks mommy and daddy for teaching me kindness throughout my life I am who I am largely because of the two of you.

Day 663

You have to take care of yourself before you can take of anybody  else – that’s what I keep learning 🙂

It’s 7: 11 PM on day 663 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself All Bran Flakes  for breakfast, watch TV,   prepare and  publish my Disability of the Day feature, feed myself  brown rice and vegetables   for lunch, watch some more  TV, feed myself boiled vegetables for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

This morning my mother received life-changing news from her doctor which compels me to say to all parents, especially special needs parents, take care of yourself so that you can take care of your kids. Are you taking care of yourself?

I LOVE hearing from you feel free to leave a comment below.

Day 580

See the world as it truly is but NEVER accept that it cannot be changed– that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 5: 01 PM on day 580 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to feed myself Appam and chicken curry  for breakfast, drink tea by myself, prepare and  publish my Disability of the Day feature, publish my Kid of the Week feature and promote my I Am Disabled Campaign.

I dedicated most of the day to promoting my I Am Disabled Campaign (I know I know I should’ve been practicing how to eat with a fork or something but it’s the weekend my mother’s home and she insists on helping me do things –  I think she thinks she’s failing me as a mother if she doesn’t help even though I’ve told her on numerous occasions that the opposite is true –  so ticking  things off my list on weekends is out of the question)  unfortunately more people ignored me than not but it’s okay I’m used to being ignored I’ll just keep plowing through people’s closed ears and hardened hearts because I truly believe that God gave me Cerebral Palsy so I can make the world a less ignorant place. Have you given up on the world?

Day 411

Some people don’t deserve to have kids – that’s what I learned today 🙁

It’s 6: 49 PM on day 411 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth,tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck – feed myself scrambled eggs, sausages and fried tomatoes   for breakfast,  prepare and publish my Disability of the Day feature,   prepare my Kid of the Week feature for Sunday – I really like this week’s Kid of the Week she is proof that you only need a huge heart to make a difference :)– and finish reading Captive of my Desires by Johanna Lindsey  – It’s a good book I would recommend it to anyone who likes romance novels 🙂

As you know my father and I don’t have the best relationship but today after I saw him, not for the first time, raise his hand to my mother over something as small as asking him to  pay somebody money so that we could go to a community member’s farewell party tomorrow–everybody who is going to the party is expected to contribute a certain amount which will go towards buying a farewell gift for the family that is leaving – I thought to myself what kind of a man would raise his hand to his wife in front of their child and lost all respect for him as a human being which is not to say my mother was a complete innocent in all this after my father stepped out of the house my mother started having a candid conversation with my eleven-year-old brother about how horrible she thought our father was which I promptly put a stop to because although I didn’t respect my father I believed that my brother deserved a chance to make up his own mind about him without my mother’s influence. Are you behaving in a manner that is consistent with being a parent?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 387

We have to teach kids that nobody but them is responsible for their lives – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 6: 49 PM on day 387 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself yoghurt for breakfast,  prepare and publish my Disability of the Day feature,  tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign –no luck – feed myself rice and curry for lunch, exercise for a few minutes –my hamstrings were SO tight – and watch TV.

Today I said to my brother I challenge you to do fifty push-ups – he’s overweight according to his paediatrician – to which he responded if I accept your challenge will you let me use the laptop I thought about it for a minute and said no I won’t bribe you to take care of your body in that moment I realized that that’s where most parents go wrong they beg and plead with their kids to do their homework, exercise, ect when they should be trying to make them understand that if they don’t do what their supposed to do they are the ones who will pay in the end. Are you teaching your kids that they and only they are responsible for the outcome of their lives?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Days 372

The way others feel about you is none of your business – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 07 PM on day 372 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, practice writing by hand, answer some question for my forthcoming profile on The Blogunteer–I used both hands to type the answers I am SO proud of myself 🙂 – feed myself a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck truth-be-told I am not trying that hard my first priority is becoming more independent which does not mean I no longer care about my campaign it just means I won’t chase after people for donations  – feed myself spaghetti bolognaise  for lunch – I used a fork and even less of a mess than yesterday I am SO proud of myself 🙂 – watch TV, continue reading Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, feed myself grilled chicken and tomatoes for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Yesterday I overheard my parents taking about the NBT’s – national benchmark test, a test that all the universities in South Africa look at before they decide to accept you into the university or not – and what my sister was going to study after school it was only in that moment that I truly understood how much pressure was on my sister and the guilt of it overwhelmed me because I knew that my parents had basically written me off as someone with no future which meant that my sister and brother – both younger than me – had to work extra hard just so that my parents could have at least two kids to brag to their friends about but now I realize that I can’t control the level of expectations my parents have for their children and that although it hurts that they don’t expect me to be anything it doesn’t mean I won’t be. Is the way you feel about yourself dependent on how others feel about you?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 333

I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common — they all wanted validation. … They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you? – Oprah Winfrey

It’s 7: 36 PM on day 333 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – compile a post for Youth Voices – a group headed by my friend Mark McKinney – prepare my Kid of the Week feature for Sunday, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, listen to music – I LOVE Who Says by Selena Gomez (press play and listen to the song below) it’s song for every girl – go to physiotherapy, watch TV and feed myself steamed vegetables for dinner.

A couple of days ago Dr. Joni Redlich@JoniRedlich on Twitter – asked me What have been ur best /worst PT – physiotherapy – experiences – she’s a pediatric physical therapist specializing in children with developmental disabilities I suppose that’s why she was curious – and I replied I don’t have a worst PT experience my best was meeting my 2nd PT she makes me feel seen 🙂 not realizing how true that actually was until today because although my mom tries her hardest there are days when I just need her emotionally but she’s too busy taking care of me physically – making sure that I’m bathed etc – to notice which is – I know that this is not a fair comparison since I only see my physiotherapist every two weeks for thirty minutes but please bear with me – totally different to what happens when I’m with my physiotherapist – we talk about politics, sports, books, movies, what’s going on in my life, what’s going in her life basically everything except for my “disability” – my point is your kids don’t want the things you can buy for them or the things you can do for them all they want is to know that you see them like I know my physiotherapist sees me – first and foremost as a human being. Do you make it a point to validate people when they interact with you?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 311

Everyone knows something useful which others probably don’t. If you are an expert in your field, use that expertise to blog. Write down what you know most about or what you’re most passionate about. And blog it! Remember, knowledge which is not shared, is useless.Nicky (@rocksstar10 on Twitter)

It’s 8: 28 PM on day 311 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth – twice once before my mother left for work and once after she was in a hurry to leave for work and she didn’t give me time to brush my teeth properly the first time– watch TV, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – feed myself chicken briyani for lunch, tweet about my campaign some more–still no luck :(– feed myself for whole-grain bread and avocado for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Yesterday I was reading If a tragedy happens and nobody cries, is it still a tragedy? on Outrageous Fortune – a blog written by a mother of twins one of whom – Malachi – happens to have Cerebral Palsy – and as I read it I could not help but feel offended and hurt by the insinuations that her son was deficient in some way but this morning I woke up and realized that I should advise rather than criticize so I came up with a list of things that I wish someone had told my parents when I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Take a look

The Do’s and Do’s of Raising a Child with a “Disability”

• Start the necessary therapies e.g. physiotherapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy as early as possible so that it will be a part of your child’s lifestyle

• Read as much as you can about your child’s condition

• Get connected with other parents that are facing the same challenges that you are (you know the saying it takes a village to raise a child I think that is particularly true if you’re raising a child with a “disability”)

• Treat your child with a “disability” as you would any of your other children while keeping his/her limitations in mind (in my school days when I got a B in math my parents would pat me on the back and say good job whereas, if my sister got a B you wouldn’t hear the end of it and although I know they were just trying to be supportive the difference in the expectations that they had for my sister and the expectations they had for me really made me feel like they didn’t give a shit (excuse the vulgar language))

• Don’t be too quick to help your child rather push him/her to do things by himself/herself otherwise what’s going to happen to him/her when you’re gone because let’s face it no matter how young you are you will die before him/her (you hope!)

• You’re child sees himself/herself through your eyes so whatever you do, DO NOT pity him/her i.e. if you pity him/her he/she will pity himself/herself.

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 283

Being a parent is about allowing your children to be who they truly are– that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 8: 58 PM on day 283 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself an egg sandwich for breakfast, read Love That Max, Chasing Rainbow and Outrageous Fortune – the first two blogs I read I’ve read a few times while I had never even heard of the third although I have to admit it was really heart-warming to read about this woman’s appreciation of her husband before I read that post I really thought that marriage was just another form of imprisonment but after reading that I’m beginning to change my mind 🙂 – watch TV, feed myself rice and curry for lunch, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck but I am hopeful because someone promised to make a donation later today 🙂 – feed myself grilled fish, potatoes and salad for dinner, and brush my teeth once more.

Today after my brother left for school in tears my mother came into my room and said I should stop asking him what J’s – his friend’s – marks are maybe that’s why he’s sad and in that moment I was SO angry that I said you love your children for what they can do and not who they are to which she responded if that was true I wouldn’t love you which suffice to say hurt my feelings. Do you love your children for who they truly are or for what they can do to bolster your image in society’s eyes?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!

Day 281

If you follow you cannot lead – that’s what I learned today 🙂

It’s 7: 53 PM on day 281 of my journey towards independence and I’ve managed to brush my teeth, feed myself an French fries and cheese puffs for breakfast, tweet about my Clean Water For All Campaign – no luck – watch TV, tweet about my campaign some more – no luck – listen to Advice by Christina Grimmie (@TheRealGrimmie) –that song is everything I ever wanted to say to all the young girls out there (see video below) – feed myself tapioca and beef curry for lunch, continue to tweet about my campaign – still no luck  – feed myself rice and curry for dinner and brush my teeth once more.

Today my brother asked my parents if he could stay home from school because his friends had bunked yesterday and on Friday and although my parents obliged him my father said this before he left if you’re staying home because you’re sick I won’t force you to go but if you’re doing this because you’re friends did it’s your life… one day your friends might start drinking will you join them and that I guess is a question for all of us am I willing to sacrifice doing what I know is right just to belong. Do you follow the crowd or choose to forge your own path?

Are we connecting on Twitter? If not, say hi at http://twitter.com/Nisha360

If you’ve given to my cause or you can’t give now, please help me by sharing my cause with others. You can tweet about it like my friend Stan Faryna. This is the tweet he uses: @Nisha360 is a brave, smart young woman trying to make a better world for us all. Please help her do an amazing thing. http://bit.ly/hC7vOu

Stan’s very sweet for saying so, but feel free to write what reflects you best.

Thanks to all my friends out there who are helping me make my dream come true: to make a better world for all of us!