Life consists of ups and downs – that’s what I’ve realized
Last night I woke up crying after picturing Gerda’s car overturning over and over and over again my mom who’s been sleeping in my bed since August 19th – i’ve asked her to please go back to her room with dad she refuses – woke up and asked what was happening I didn’t tell her or anyone Gerda’s death is still hurting me I expected her to grow old and die a long time from this year my violated expectation is breaking my heart and soul and truly messing with my mind compounded by a few traumatic family things I’m holding on to people so tired afraid that they’ll either die or get hurt