You don’t know the measure of your love till you’ve lost– that’s what I’ve realized

Recently I realized that we don’t know the measure of our love till we’ve lost it’s been almost a month since Gerda died and I’m still crying about it every day twice a day – my parents think I’m back to myself because I cry when they’re not here and into my pillow under the cover of darkness – it would have been less painful if someone just ripped my heart out I now realize how much I truly loved Gerda she who didn’t have children of her own probably didn’t even know she was like a second mother to me – even my parents knew her place in my life which is why before I embarked on any of my crazy-dangerous adventures they would say let’s ask Gerda first no matter how much I wanted to do something I wouldn’t do it without Gerda’s blessing (I once wanted to go Scuba Diving she said no and when I continued to plead with her she held a tissue paper in front of my face and asked me to blow it away I thought I did a good job but she said your breath control is not good enough and in that moment I so appreciated that she took the time to demonstrate why she said no to my request I never brought it up again…Gerda was truly The Nisha Whisperer I miss her so much already)