Life is change – that’s what I’ve realized

Today I went back to my physiotherapy in the same practice but with a different person we even used the same room all that was surprisingly okay what was hard was being in the waiting room full of flowers and a picture of Gerda with her dogs and a sign above the picture that read in loving memory of I could not bear to look at the picture and the flowers my mother wasn’t helping matters do you want me to turn the chair around so you can see [the picture] she said turning my chair to face the picture and the flowers to which I said I don’t want to see please turn me around which my mom did in a fast hurry then the lovely long-time receptionist distracted me with conversation until it was time for my appointment (everything was the same the room, the view from the window…everything every single thing except Gerda was not there “J” –my new physiotherapist – is awesome she wasn’t awkward talking about Gerda she’s sad too so I don’t feel bad that I’m sad around her in many ways J and I are in the same boat we are the ones Gerda so abruptly left behind). A new chapter of my life has begun not because I chose but because shit happens – Gerda, I have to move forward but nobody will take your place in my heart and in my memories I am going to open my heart widely to J I know how much you loved her and I know you would want me to love her too I will not compare her to you but together we will form a bond with our own memories and our shared love of you…I will always love you.